Preggo?

I have one daughter and two step children. We have decided to attempt to have one of our own together. I want another baby but I know this will be hard. First I have PCOS and just conceiving will be a challenge. Second our blended family is still having growing pains. My child was an only child for many years. She is adjusting but I can only imagine how hard this is for her. My husband had a boy and a girl. The boy is the first and he is his families pride and joy. It saddens me they ignore thier granddaughter. His ex wife is the opposite and ignores the son. These poor kids may need more than counseling some day. Husband sees this now and treats both kids fairly and is working hard at spending time with both. Both of our kids spend time with the other parents leaving us with alone time. I really love this time. I feel guilty about that and am sad that it will end. I fear though that the child we will have more time with will become favored and that would cause more issues. I pray that God will guide us in this. There are so many challenges that I can see I fear we will be doing a bad thing. I also believe that if I do get pregnant that it is Gods will and it will be ok.

Compassion

Compassionate nurses amaze me. I have lost much of mine working in the jail. I am amazed sometimes that there are good people.
On vacation last week, I forgot my wallet on a cafe table. A random stranger then found me and returned my wallet, all contents remained untouched. She then offered to take a photo of me and my husband. It so surprising and nice. This was how I was raised. My parents are nice and help people. I just forget sometimes and I think I know why.
Today I had to listen to a man cry, sobbing "my life is over, and I have nothing left." He wanted empathy, sympathy, and compassion. I was glad I was not his nurse but just overheard him while in clinic. Why was he so upset and suicidal? He was found guilty of first degree criminal sex crime against his sister. I just thought, what about your sisters life? I could think of nothing that I could have even said to him. Does that make me a bad person?
My prayer is that I can see all people through God' s eyes. Too many times though I find I am a judgment human and too often void of compassion for those I judge based on thier past. Then I think, what God must think of me?