Grain free and sugar free

In trying to conceive while have PCOS I have read many many articles. Kinda information overload. It's hard to know what works from what worked for one person. With a trial size of one it just is hard for me to know what exactly worked and what was coincidental. Most people are trying so many things at once. I have decided though to radically change mine and husbands diet. We are going to go sugar and grain free as well as eat lots of animal based fats. Raw milk and organic meat. I am really nervous about this as I have been on the sugar addiction cycle for years. My husband and I eat fairly healthy with the exception of drinking soda and eating chips. I am trying to find as many recipes as I can to keep our cravings low. I know we can do it together. Any advice and encouragement will be gladly received.

Caught a case

<p>One of the most annoying things inmates say is " I caught a case." Meaning the now have new charges. However, the vernacular also indicates that they have taken no responsibility in having broken the law. I find it so frustrating. I hear this excuse mostly in regard to their health complaints. How can they have taken care of some chronic condition while released when they "caught a case" now? Never even occurs that had they went to the doctor before instead of breaking the law they wouldn't have such issues. Shocking of course!

Preggo?

I have one daughter and two step children. We have decided to attempt to have one of our own together. I want another baby but I know this will be hard. First I have PCOS and just conceiving will be a challenge. Second our blended family is still having growing pains. My child was an only child for many years. She is adjusting but I can only imagine how hard this is for her. My husband had a boy and a girl. The boy is the first and he is his families pride and joy. It saddens me they ignore thier granddaughter. His ex wife is the opposite and ignores the son. These poor kids may need more than counseling some day. Husband sees this now and treats both kids fairly and is working hard at spending time with both. Both of our kids spend time with the other parents leaving us with alone time. I really love this time. I feel guilty about that and am sad that it will end. I fear though that the child we will have more time with will become favored and that would cause more issues. I pray that God will guide us in this. There are so many challenges that I can see I fear we will be doing a bad thing. I also believe that if I do get pregnant that it is Gods will and it will be ok.

Compassion

Compassionate nurses amaze me. I have lost much of mine working in the jail. I am amazed sometimes that there are good people.
On vacation last week, I forgot my wallet on a cafe table. A random stranger then found me and returned my wallet, all contents remained untouched. She then offered to take a photo of me and my husband. It so surprising and nice. This was how I was raised. My parents are nice and help people. I just forget sometimes and I think I know why.
Today I had to listen to a man cry, sobbing "my life is over, and I have nothing left." He wanted empathy, sympathy, and compassion. I was glad I was not his nurse but just overheard him while in clinic. Why was he so upset and suicidal? He was found guilty of first degree criminal sex crime against his sister. I just thought, what about your sisters life? I could think of nothing that I could have even said to him. Does that make me a bad person?
My prayer is that I can see all people through God' s eyes. Too many times though I find I am a judgment human and too often void of compassion for those I judge based on thier past. Then I think, what God must think of me?

Dinner

I was dinner last night for a host of hungry little beasts. I may have been a bit under the influence as i didnt feel any of them. So I didnt want deet bug spray and chose to go without. Now, I must say I am slightly less concerned with chemicals and just want relief.

Jail nursing

Sometimes being a jail nurse can be so rewarding and other times you leave feeling defeated. This week I had both happen.
First the warm fuzzy feelings. Had a prostitute come turn herself in to escape her pimp. Yes, this does actually happen. Well of course pimp comes and pays her bail. So now the problem, we have to release her but pimp is waiting. What would you do? We cannot legally keep her any longer. A few phone calls later and she is set up on her way to a safe shelter that will protect her. They also provide training to help her start her life again. Work and life skills. Ah, makes a jail nurse proud.
Then you have the ones who make you want to bang your head against a wall. Recently had an inmate in with some pretty yucky dog bites. Instead of letting us take care of them they refuse all wound care. Refuse antibiotics , refuse to even have it looked at. We cannot force medical care but somehow we are responsible for the negative outcome. It's so frustrating that this inmate threatened to sue us if something bad happens because they choose to not let themselves be helped or help themselves. Even gave them the option to do wound care themselves but still refused. Some people I will never understand.

Beer delivery

Stressed out today after work and its of course raining. I was dreaming on a liquor store drive through when I saw the most amazing sign ever. Beer delivery!!!  Minimums and delivery charges mean nothing to get booze at home and not have messy hair.

Poopcosso

What makes a grown man think that smearing poop would be a good idea. The first time I saw this at the jail I was shocked. I just couldn't believe the staff when they said how normal it was. Now after four years I have seen and smelled more poop then I ever did as a cna in a nursing home. I can almost say that I understand the method heads all tweaking out doing it. However, the perfectly sober man who is doing it because he is mad. That makes me question his sanity. Not to mention his parents. Did this work at home to get what he wanted? Maybe that in itself explains why he is incarcerated. In our jail they get to sit in the room with thier own feces until they comply and clean it up. Only when it interferes with safety and security do they move the inmate and have other inmates clean it up. If I ever go to jail there is no way I would ever be an inmate worker as I know what they have to clean up at some point. I also would not want to sit or lay anywhere. We have a woman right now refusing to be booked in. She is laying in a cell that two days ago was covered in feces. I think of that every time I do wound care on her. Yuck! Maybe if someone told her she would want to move. Would just have to leave out that the rest of the jail is just as gross. Haha medical probably being the worst. We only have a janitor not an actual cleaning person.

So have you seen poop drawings? My favorite was the man drawing a poopstache on his face.

Fat, sick, and nearly dead.

Watched this movie this week. It was so eye opening. As a nurse we are taught so much about medication and treatments to heal illnesses. We often forget how the body can heal itself. I know that I often grab a pill for whatever I am having a problem with instead of finding the cause. For example I often get headaches. I recently have paid attention to my body and have learned the main causes behind my headaches. One I am usually dehydrated or hungry, both are easily fixed. Then I get stress or tension headaches. I have learned relaxation and stretches to alleviate that pain too.  I do still find myself grabbing for an easy fix and popping a pill sometimes. Baby steps right? I somehow convinced my husband to do a juice fast like in the movie. We haven't started yet. I bought a juicer today. We need to prep our bodies first. Wean the soda addiction and cut out our processed foods and sugar. I am excited to try it and pray I can find the strength and self control to not eat for ten days. I know it will be worth it. I want to try it and may consider it further for treatment of my PCOS. I want to get my body ready to try and get pregnant. Wish me luck!

Feeling helpless

One of the worst feelings as a nurse is feelings helpless. Almost as bad as helping those you unfortunately don't feel deserve help.
Today, I felt so helpless. In the jail we often have vulnerable adults come in. Men and women who have no comprehension of why they are there. Our job is to help them while they are in our care. Many don't understand why they can't just leave. I hate that I can't actually help them. I can give them meds and help keep them safe in jail. But what about when they get out? There is often no place for them to go. There are just not enough beds, not enough resources. It breaks my heart to see grown children come to jail again and again because we as a society have failed them. But, the gang banger who comes in is on medical assistance, wellfare, and housing assistance. Meaning his drug deal money can go for more drugs, gold teeth, and Bling-bling. All this while I work over time to pay my bills and my tax dollars can't even help those in need. There is so much to this subject. Working in a jail has opened my eyes and made me so sad at times.

Gardening

I am learning to garden. The husband wanted a garden, or rather he wanted that dead area of our lawn to be something rather than nothing. So, I started a garden. This is not easy work and I am not a natural. First, I pulled all my plants the first time I weeded. Whoopsie!! I now kinda know the difference. I let my garden then be taken over by weeds and now by fire ants. I tried Neem oil with no success for the ants. Now I put Diatomaceous Earth (food grade) on it. I am praying this works as I desperately need to get out there and pull some weeds.

http://www.richsoil.com/diatomaceous-earth.jsp

Being a Jail Nurse

I often get asked "What do jail nurses do anyway?" Usually with a tone of total disdain. Implying that I must be an inferior nurse as I work in a jail. I obviously don't see it that way. I see my job as a cross between urgent care and a clinic, with some trauma thrown in for good measure. I do not deal with the nicest of patients but I also don't have to tolerate much crap. I have a guard with me and I can terminate a visit at any time. During any work day I can see a variety of things, complaints of colds, drug withdrawals, wound care, suicide attempts, and many many psychiatric visits. Many of our Inmates do not have routine access to health care, or they have mental illness and are unable to navigate the system for themselves. When they come to us they are sick and need a lot of care. This is the part of my job that is worth it. I feel like I am making a difference, patient education is huge for a population that may have not seen any medical care for years. The other part, the drug seekers, the entitled and rude, they are another story all together. Unfortunately those that need the least care complain the most and often are the ones taking the most resources. This is where one must be a strong nurse, you can no longer believe a patient. You must heavily rely on your own assessment. I never imagined in nursing school I would have a patient fake a seizure or an asthma attack just to get medications. We try our best to triage and help those actually in need. However, often we spend a lot of time doing unnecessary care only to avoid a lawsuit later. Many days I leave work exhausted and mentally drained, not unlike most jobs. The part I struggle with is seeing the worst side of humanity for so much of the day, I try to find that one person who I feel I actually helped and focus on that. I have to believe that what I do is good. 

Newbie

The idea has been floating in my head for a while to start a blog. I am an RN at a local county jail, this alone gives me much to write about. I am a wife, mother, step-mother, Christian and becoming very "granola" as my friends call it. I home school my children and my step-children will go to public school. I am learning to garden and do housewife type things, I will share my follies and successes as I go!  This blog is where I can express my feelings and thoughts on all of these things. I often find myself in conflict with leaning very natural, and in practicing western medicine. I find I am often recommending treatments and medicines I am not sure I believe in any longer. Being a Christian, a nurse, and working in jail also presents frequent moral conflicts. Please join me on my journey and feel free to comment and share in my adventures.